If you’ve ever wondered what goes on in an introvert’s mind or what it’s like to be an introvert, I’m spilling some of my secret confessions in this post. I love reading others’ thoughts in lists like the one below; they’re usually super entertaining! (You can read part 2 and part 3 here.)
Whether you’re an introvert searching for some camaraderie or an extrovert trying to understand why you’re best friend is so freakin’ quiet, these confessions will hopefully shed some light on one of nature’s most mysterious beings: the introvert.
Even if you don’t see yourself in all of these, I hope whatever your personality type is, that you love and enjoy being who you are to the fullest.
Confessions of an Introvert
1 | I have social anxiety, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like people.
Trying to make friends or engage with peers when you have social anxiety is a lot harder than people realize. It feels like you’re fighting against yourself day after day. But the only thing that’s helped my nervousness in social situations is to push past my comfort zone and work at it on a daily basis. You can’t make improvements if you’re never willing to challenge yourself.You can't make improvements if you're never willing to challenge yourself.Click To Tweet
2 | I was born with my personality and temperament; don’t try to change me.
Everyone is born with their own unique disposition. It’s inherent. Just because I’m not like you doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me or that I should try to fit into society’s definition of “normal.” I’m happy the way I am, and that’s all that matters.
3 | You can be introverted and outgoing. They’re not mutually exclusive.
Even though I treasure my time alone, I need to be around other people. Socializing is part of being human. We all crave that connection and sense of belonging with others—yeah, even us introverts. Introverts enjoy hanging out with those they are close to, but need to be by themselves again to recharge. In the same way that extroverts are energized by being in groups of people, introverts are energized by solitude.
4 | I’m sorry—this is the way my face is. I’m a nice person, I promise!
I like to call it my “please-stop-asking-me-what’s-wrong-face.” I may seem intimidating, aloof, or just plain mean, but I promise I’m not. That’s just the way my face naturally looks. Chances are, I’m thinking about what I’m going to eat for lunch or that super embarrassing thing I did five years ago. My facial expression has nothing to do with you. Don’t be afraid to approach me! Although if you do, I may or may not pretend I’m on my phone, scrolling through Instagram. #sorrynotsorry
5 | I have a tight circle of close friends that I trust.
For most introverts, it’s quality over quantity. If I’ve accepted you into my circle of friends, you’re never getting out, and I’ll probably trust you forever. It may take me a long time to warm up to you, but that’s only because I have a limited amount of “relational energy”, and I don’t want to waste it. Once I decide you’re friend material, we might as well make matching friendship bracelets, which I definitely did one time.
6 | Having an introvert like me for a best friend comes with a lot of perks.
- Most of the time, I’m free to hang out because I avoid making plans altogether. But remember: text—don’t call!—to hang out.
- I’m the ultimate secret keeper. Tell me something classified, and I’ll take it to my grave (or protect it with my “resting bitch face”; see above).
- I’m an AMAZING listener. Seriously, I can listen to others ramble on and on. But there’s no guarantee I haven’t blocked you out during your rambles and started making a list of all the t.v. shows I plan on binge watching instead.
- I’m loyal. Hope you like me, because you’ll be stuck with me forever. If someone does ya dirty, I’ll be there to help you plot revenge. And you best believe, I serve up revenge the best—calm, cool, and collected. (And with an added dash of southern sass and witty cynicism, free of charge.)
7 | I love heart-to-hearts.
Contrary to popular belief, introverts aren’t afraid to get all up in the feelings. I just prefer to talk to someone I trust and am close to—those are the people with whom I share my deepest thoughts.
8 | Often, extroverts and introverts make the best of friends.
At least half of my friends are extroverts. And while it can be frustrating that they don’t understand the extremely anal and complex variables of my personality, our relationships still work. Because we’re different. Because we challenge each other to look at things from another’s perspective. Because they’re goofy and hilarious and I’m dry and witty. Every introvert needs an extroverted best friend, and vice versa. It’s a good balance.
9 | Sometimes, I’m afraid that people won’t “get” me.
My quirks make me who I am, but sometimes they make it harder to relate to others, especially people my own age. I used to feel the need to hide who I truly am in order to fit in better and make friends. But I understand now that only leads to superficial relationships. If you can’t let it all hang out, then what’s the point? If you’re finding that you don’t click with certain people, those are not your people. Don’t force it because it was never meant to be in the first place. The people who befriend you BECAUSE of your idiosyncrasies, not IN SPITE OF, are the people you’ll want to hang on to.If you're finding that you don't click with certain people, those are not your people.Click To Tweet
10 | I have no tolerance for lame BS or petty gossip.
Another reason why it’s more difficult to connect with my peers. I know that makes up at least 80% of normal conversations these days, but can we please just skip that? I’d rather get to know you on a deeper level. I want to know your favorite author, what movies you hate, how you take your coffee, and what you think about at 2 am.
11 | Music is my escape.
Whenever I can’t put my feelings into words (or when I choose not to), music is there. To soothe, to back me up, to understand, to insist that what I’m feeling is normal and will pass. Nothing calms me down or makes me feel better like listening to my favorite song. Happy, sad, joyful, melancholy, blissfully content, or unimaginably pissed off, music is my healthy release.
12 | It’s easier for me to communicate via writing than speaking.
Vocalizing how I’m feeling isn’t something I’m always comfortable doing. So instead, I choose to write. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable to say hard things and look people in the eye while you’re saying them. Writing comes naturally to me and can soften a sharp blow and dissipate a perceived slight or miscommunication. Writing gives me the time and mercy to gather my thoughts in an orderly fashion, without the pressure to “perform” on cue and risk stumbling over my words or not stating the exact thing I want to say. That’s why I love blogging so much and why it’s such a good way for introverts to connect with others.
And yeah, speech class in college was a form of inhumane torment for me. Seriously, how is that not illegal??
13 | I remember way too many details about people, places, and things.
Often, I play dumb so I don’t freak anybody out. I might have stalked you on social media for an hour and now know your aunt’s name on your mother’s side and where you vacationed in Mexico in 2011. Oops. I have an elephant’s memory and it literally requires no effort from me at all.
14 | Even though I may be quiet, my mind is always loud and always observing.
I won’t always participate in the conversation, but it’s usually because I’m secretly noticing what’s going on around me. I’m a noticer. I won’t always talk, but I’m definitely listening and filing things away to remember and think about later (see above). Covert observation is my superpower. GET ON MY LEVEL. Don’t think I don’t hear and see everything.
15 | All I really crave is to be known deeply and loved for who I am.
I think that’s what we all want, but it’s not that easy to find. I don’t necessarily trust people easily, so I rarely divulge my innermost thoughts, even if it’s what I ache to do the most.
Giving up those parts of ourselves that no one has seen takes courage, but when we do, and we find that we’re cherished—regardless of what we view to be our weaknesses or mistakes—whoa, baby. Magical things can happen.All I really crave is to be known deeply and loved for who I am.Click To Tweet
I’ll be regularly posting more of these confessions in an ongoing series. I hope you enjoyed reading some of my thoughts as an introvert, and I hope you found them interesting. I had fun writing these! I think there’s a lot of misinformation out there about us introverts, so maybe these revelations will clear some things up, yeah?
If you have any extroverted best friends like I do, you might want to pass this along to them. It could spare you a lot of extra explanation (and you know we introverts don’t like talking if we don’t have to). 😉
Can you relate to any (or all) of these confessions? Leave a comment below—what are your confessions as an introvert? I’d LOVE to read yours, too.
I have a feeling we’re going to be friends—let’s get to know each other better.